Once upon a time I gathered together the poorest people in my kingdom and undertook to plant a colony on the Morning Star, which was empty and uninhabited. Phaethon out of jealousy thwarted the colonisation, meeting us half-way at the head of his Ant Dragoons. At that time we were beaten, for we were not a match for them in strength, and we retreated: now, however, I desire to make war again and plant the colony. If you wish, then, you may take part with me in the expedition and I will give each of you one of my royal vultures and a complete outfit.
– Lucian, A True Story Book 1.
Lucian is by far the weirdest author I have ever read. If you want to read a hilarious and strange ancient tale then please, please go read A True Story. You can find it online in translation. It sounds like the silliest Greek bedtime story ever.